Introduction - Part Deux

Whereas I had seemingly left out God in the last year of high school, I actively sought to get Him back during my first year of college. Strange, I know, but I had a roommate who had the same idea. We met this Bible Study group while on campus and they invited us to church, as well as to some of their Bible studies.

Every week we would meet and talk about God and the Bible and about being a good Christian. However, my experience with this group was a lot different than it was during high school. These guys were really hardcore; often times we would sit with them individually, so there would be me and then two or three of them.

The meetings were usually pretty intense; on one occasion they asked me to write down every sin that I had committed. I refused to do that, so they asked me if I felt I was a good person or a bad person. Well, I thought I was a good person; but then they asked me if I had done bad things. Naturally, we all do bad things.

Well, apparently, things are very black and white with them. I told them that I was "kind of in the middle", although that didn't seem to fly too well. They told me that it was either heaven or hell, and with the way I was going, it was definitely hell for me. Only Jesus can provide salvation and forgive all of my sins.

I had accepted Jesus before, but I never really looked at things as being a completely black and white. Furthermore, how can Jesus forgive my sins when the Bible clearly teaches us in the Old Testament that a man cannot bear the inequities of the father? And how can God become a man and die?

This was a wake-up call and my faith was clearly called into question, so my friend and I did the one thing I felt would save us: we ran away as fast as possible from that Bible Study group. It was kind of awkward because we would always see them around campus, so it was always a challenge to avoid being seen. I kind of felt like a spy, sneaking around, hoping to never be caught off-guard. It wouldn't have been so bad if they weren't so persistent.

After some deeper thought I decided to divorce myself from Christianity, although I still retained my belief in God. The next few years were a bumpy ride.

Coming up…Islam calls me back